In all seriousness, there were plenty of excellent reasons to leave Twitter prior to the whole Elon thing. To the folks on Twitter that are looking to jump ship, if you end up on an ActivityPub-powered service, you can follow me here:
My advice to anyone joining Mastodon from Twitter:
1. Setup cross-posting. 2. Follow a few people from Twitter using a bridge service. 3. Publish to the fediverse first. 4. Hide your Twitter app in a folder. 5. Only open your Twitter app to read/reply to notifications.