I thought the butt-dial was a thing of the past, but my phone's managed to leave multiple incoherent messages.

If I ever message you sounding like I'm having a stroke, I'm fine, and I'm sorry.

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Turns out I've not been butt-dialing people. I threw away a phone as I thought it was bricked, but gypsy kids got ahold of it, and have been Viber-calling people and sending kissing emojis to random contacts.

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